Love and Marriage. Yes I asked this question and when I did the reactions made me feel like I asked “where do babies come from”. J I was, and still am, quite serious about that question. Many people believe that as girls, we are conditioned to want the perfect husband, 2.5 kids, and the house with the white picket fence. Unfortunately people don’t figure in women like me. The one’s who have to experience the realities of life at a young age. I was never the child to sit and dream about my wedding or a family. At an early age I had to experience the real possibility that my mom would not live to see my 10th birthday. Sad, but oh so true. Now don’t get me wrong, my life was not tragic. I did however have to deal with some things between the ages of 7 and 21 that many of my friends didn’t see until they were in their early 20s. And with those experiences came a different outlook on life.
So at some point in the last two years I asked my wonderful cousin (whom I love for never judging me) the ill fated question…What’s the point of love and being married? She gave me some great wisdom that I will cherish forever, and it started me on the path to figuring out what it meant for me. The first place I looked was my manual for life…My Bible. I Corinthians 13: 4-7 states:
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
So after reading the passage I began to think “does this really exist?” The answer I got is yes. It may translate differently from relationship to relationship, but it does exist. I found three wonderful examples that are present in my life of this scripture, and surprisingly enough some of them are my ageJ The first example I found were my parents. As I’ve stated my mom fell ill and when they came and told me, I knew it could be bad. However I saw my dad do everything short of gives his life to make sure my mom got better. He loved her through the good and bad times, and not only did he love her, but he made sure that my brother and I had the love we needed. He made sure that our family was surrounded by positive praying people. He protected us, and nursed my mom back to health.
The second example is a younger couple that had to stand together and fight for their love when other people advised them to just give up. Through that process they patiently learned about each other’s strengths and weaknesses so that they could cover each other when met by opposition. The steps they take everyday are a constant reminder that when walking with humility, patience, and regard for one another that a married couple is a force to be reckoned with.
Recently I was given the privileged to witness the third example: a wedding where I knew that the couple meant EVERY WORD of the vows they spoke to each other. They had lived it! As I heard their words I began to cry. The vows I’d heard so many times suddenly took a reviving breath for me. “In good time and bad, in sickness and health” had a very real, tangible meaning for me. I knew that the couple had walked through good and bad, sickness and health, and stood on the other side of each hand in hand, standing firm on their love for each other and their relationship with God. These are just a few of the points of love and marriage. It’s never about the individuals making the covenant; it’s about the unit as a whole. I wish more people my age realized that this commitment is not about the wedding day, but it is about all the things you will stand through, build up, and the paths you will blaze as a unit.
Yes I’ve found a few points to marriage and as I continue to walk through life I’m sure more will be revealed. So I pose the question again, without cynicism or a mocking tone, what is the point of love and marriage? No one can answer this question for you, but I promise it’s worth the time you will take to search it out.
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